Debate Team AU: Klaine
by gluttonouspenguin
Summary: Kurt Hummel is a newcomer to McKinley's debate team. During his first debate tournament, he runs up against Blaine Anderson, Dalton Academy's best debater.
1. Chapter 1

As soon as word of Kurt Hummel's epic comebacks to bullies reached McKinley High's debate team, they became determined to recruit him. Debate team ads that were only supposed to be on the school club poster boards were stuck onto his locker every morning, without fail. At first, they were more bawdy, designed to appeal to the general populace of McKinley ("If you're a masturbator, then you too can become a master debater"), but after Kurt ripped that out into pieces out of disgust, they became more classic and PG. Kurt admitted that some of the black and white golden posters featuring elegant men and women decked out in tuxedos and top hats were appealing, though he wasn't sure how Julie Andrews or Julie Garland related to debate.

Rachel Berry, their self-proclaimed star, also brought it upon herself to stalk, harass, and bribe Kurt into joining. Kurt groaned when he saw her standing by his locker again before his first period.

"Rachel, would you give it a rest? One, I don't need to hear about the importance about public speaking in everyday life, nor do I need to know the health and mental benefits about keeping one's mind sharp. Save that lecture for all the Neanderthals at this school." Rachel made a motion to reach down for something in her pocket. "And for God's sake, I don't need your money!"

Rachel discreetly tucked away her fifty dollar bill.

"Kurt, I know you're reluctant to join, and I'm sorry that my arguments weren't enough to persuade you, even though I'm not sure why given that my arguments are always cogent and rock solid…" "

"Right, because bribery constitutes an actual argument…"

"And I normally wouldn't lower myself like this to you, as the school's star debater, but we NEED more members. No one else in the club is serious at competing, and frankly, I don't think they have the natural abilities that you and I have. If we were both in the team, we could be amazing. We could be winners."

Rachel then gave Kurt her version of a meaningful look, and flounced off dramatically, hoping that her body language conveyed the utmost importance of her words. It would've been impressive, if Kurt hadn't seen her do the exact same thing two days ago. Still…

Kurt was lonely. He was not only gay—he was gay and weird. If Kurt had a normal voice and dressed like the rest of the guys in the school, he might've been unnoticed. As it stood, he couldn't hide the fashionable, most fabulous part of himself, nor did he want to. Kurt strutted into McKinley combat boots first, and didn't take shit from anyone. Well, he took shit from a lot of people, but he tried not to let the naysayers get him down, even when they ruined his favorite pair of Marc Jacobs jeans.

The fact was, Kurt Hummel was tired of being picked on, and he was tired of having to go through it alone. There was no one to help him wipe away the sting of slushy away from his eyes, or to watch the entrance to the girl's bathroom so that he was ensured privacy. Kurt would've joined the Glee Club, but it was cancelled after Sandy Ryers was found fondling one of his male tenors during a private session. And he couldn't deny that he was flattered that he was being recruited so adamantly. It was nice to be wanted.

* * *

After classes ended, Kurt paced slowly in front of the room in which the debate team practiced. He wasn't sure whether to enter the room and introduce himself, or run away and forget about the whole thing, but was saved from making a decision by none other than Rachel Berry herself. When she saw Kurt she let out an earsplitting screech, and sank her nails (which were more like talons, ow) into his elbow.

"You came!" she said. "Which of my arguments ended up convincing you? I need to know the answer, for future reference in debate rounds, of course. Was it the argument that debaters live for 10 more years than the average person ("That's not even true," Kurt murmured under his breath) or the argument that addressed your competitive side? It was the last one, wasn't it? Some of my competitors cautioned me against appealing to emotion during rounds, but I think it has its value, don't you?"

Kurt merely rolled his eyes as he walked through the threshold. This had the potential to be the best decision he ever made, or the worst.


	2. Chapter 2

Kurt didn't know what he was expecting, but it wasn't this. For some reason, he had always been under the impression that debate team didn't require much work. Kurt just thought that he'd show up to a round, say a few witty repartees, and be granted a win. He couldn't have been more wrong.

McKinley participated in Lincoln Douglas, otherwise known as LD debate. Every two months, there was a statement or resolution, and two positions—affirmative, which argued for the resolution, and negative, which argued against the resolution. The debate format was one-on-one (which Kurt was relieved about, because he wasn't too crazy about working with others), and started with the two sides reading their respective cases (a pre-written list of reasons to affirm or negate), followed by a series of rebuttals from each side. The current resolution was "Rehabilitation ought to be valued above retribution in the United States criminal justice system."

In other words, Kurt Hummel had to do actual research if he wanted to win rounds.

Thankfully, most of his teammates were nice, and seemed to like him. These feelings were entirely mutual. Kurt enjoyed their company, and was more than a little impressed by their debating skills.

Loathe as he was to admit it, Rachel really was talented. Though Kurt privately thought there were areas that she could improve upon, she was the one to beat when it came to speed-talking. Rachel could throw down ten different arguments for each of her opponent's one, and watch as her opponent ran out of time rebutting her.

Mercedes Jones was a vocal powerhouse. Her oratory skills had the power to bulldoze unsuspecting opponents. If they weren't prepared, they could be found sinking under the spell of her speech before realizing too late that it was their turn to stand up and rebut her.

Tina Cohen-Chang seemed quiet and meek at first glance, but in a debate round she was fierce. Kurt's jaw dropped the first time he saw her in her element. While Tina's style of debating wasn't as flashy as say Rachel Berry's, it was clean, powerful, and efficient. She was best known for 'turning' an opponent's argument—that was, taking the opposite side's argument and spinning it so it became a point for her side.

Last but not least, there was Santana Lopez. Kurt was not one to be easily scared, but Santana's smirk was potent enough to give anyone the shivers. Still, Kurt had to admit that she was extremely gifted. Her talent for ripping people to shreds with her vicious, vicious words was only surpassed by her talent for calmly and methodically ripping arguments apart. It wasn't hard to understand why Santana's opponents all called her Satan behind her back.

* * *

After weeks of practice rounds (in which he got ripped apart repeatedly, limb from limb), Kurt felt reasonably prepared to compete against other schools. He polished up his cases, wrote up a spreadsheet of arguments he was likely to encounter on each side, and fixed up some bad habits. (Apparently, snapping your fingers at an opponent during cross-examination was frowned upon.)

Luckily, his wish was granted within the week. "Our next local debate tournament will be hosted by Dalton Academy," Mr. Schue announced. "It's an all-boys private school in Westerville. They call themselves the Warblers."

Santana looked delighted. "Wait a minute. Like, a million gay jokes just passed through my brain."

Mr. Schue ignored her. "This is a great chance for novices, or first-time debaters, to test their skills at a real tournament. Only a few schools are participating, so there's no real pressure. If you want to sign up, please sign up on this sheet and make your parents sign this permission form. I hope to see everyone there."

Kurt's was the first name on the list.


	3. Chapter 3

The day of the tournament dawned bright and early for Kurt. After teasing his hair to his satisfaction ("It was a go high or go home" kind of day"), he retrieved his favorite McQueen blazer from the bathroom. Although the steam from his shower had pressed out most of its wrinkles, Kurt decided that ironing it again wouldn't hurt. After smoothing out his tie and buttoning up his rather tight pants, he did a few 360 degree turns in the mirror (mostly to check out his ass, which he admitted looked rather good). A hippo broach completed his ensemble. That hippo broach meant business. Kurt Hummel was ready to conquer the world.

Given that the debate team was too poor to afford funding to hire a bus driver, Kurt volunteered to drive four other people to the tournament. Mercedes, Tina, Rachel, and Santana quickly called dibs. As Kurt passed fields of pasture and corn, the girls took it upon themselves to do some last minute vocal exercises. Rachel swore that sticking a pen in your mouth while you talked did wonders for one's enunciation and breath control. Soon, the car was filled with strange, unintelligible gargles.

* * *

By the time Kurt pulled over at Dalton he had a raging headache. Being late didn't exactly help matters. After the receptionist at the front desk gave him the room number of his first official debate round, Kurt took off immediately. It was only after five minutes of looking around fruitlessly that it occurred to him that he was lost. Damn.

Kurt was about to walk back to the front desk to ask for instructions when he saw a dark haired boy ahead of him. He was wearing the traditional Dalton Academy uniform, so he probably knew where he was going. Kurt caught up to him before tapping him on the shoulder.

"Excuse me. Do you know where room 206 is? I'm new here."

When he finally turned around, and Kurt swore time had stopped. The boy looked like he stepped straight out of the 1960s. His hair was loosely shellacked back in neat waves, his tie and blazer were neat and tidy, and his eyes… his eyes were a kaleidoscope of gold, brown, and green.

The boy's mouth dropped slightly open, but then he smiled. "My name's Blaine."

"Kurt."

"… so, where is this mysterious room? It would be helpful if you pointed me in the right direction."

"You're in luck. I know a shortcut."

The boy (_Blaine_) then grasped Kurt's hand like it was nothing, and started running. The whole thing was like something out of a cheesy rom-com. Kurt half expected the run to be in slo-mo, with violins orchestrating in the background. This would be the moment that two leads would remember forever. This would be the moment the two leads fell in love, which they wouldn't realize until the end of the movie. Kurt didn't even care that Blaine was holding the wrong hand. This would be the moment when…

"Kurt? Are you OK? We're here."

Kurt snapped out of his fantasy when he realized that Blaine had stopped next to room 206. He was about to thank Blaine for his efforts, when Blaine opened the door for him.

"Now, if you'll excuse me."

Blaine then walked to the opposite end of the room, and began laying out his cases. His debate cases. Dreamy Mcdreamboat was Kurt's debate opponent. Holy shit.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Hi everyone. It's been a tough week for everyone in the Glee fandom. I hope everyone's well. RIP Cory. 3

* * *

Kurt numbly walked to his side of the room. He took a seat, and began arranging his papers and pens in the proper order—anything to distract him from Blaine, who was sitting calmly in his seat. It figured that the first cute boy to hold his hand was his opponent. Not that meant that Kurt was going to go easy on Blaine; oh no. Blaine would get a taste of Kurt Hummel's debate skills very soon.

Still… it wouldn't hurt to take a better look. Just to gauge his opponent. The fact that said opponent was absolutely gorgeous was just a bonus. Right.

Kurt cut his eyes to his right. Blaine was looking straight at him. Shit. Kurt was just about to avert his gaze when Blaine gave him a wink. Or what looked like a wink. Whatever it was, it was charming as hell. Kurt felt his ears heating up.

"Are you both ready to start?" The judge's voice cut through Kurt's thoughts like a knife. Kurt briefly chastised himself for getting distracted. Dreamy or not, Blaine Anderson was the enemy, and he needed to be taken down so Kurt could be declared champion of this tournament.

Blaine stepped to the podium. "Ladies and gentlemen, or rather, gentlemen, it is an honor to stand here today. We are here to debate the resolution, 'Resolved: Rehabilitation ought to be valued above retribution in the United States criminal justice system.' As the affirmative, I will be arguing in favor of the resolution. My first contention is…"

Kurt quickly scribbled down Blaine's arguments. He could do this; Blaine's points, while delivered confidently and amazingly, were fairly generic. Blaine wouldn't know what hit him.

Once Blaine finished reading his case, Kurt stood up for cross-examination. "In your case, you stated that 'Rehabilitation provides society with reformed members who have more potential to contribute,' correct?"

"Correct."

"Would you still think that if you had access to statistics showing that the opposite is true?"

"What do you mean?"

"What if I give you proof that the retribution system has not worked in the past, and is unlikely to work in the future? The US has a system in which two thirds of prisoners are re-offending within two years."

Blaine looked amused. "First of all, Kurt… may I call you Kurt?"

Kurt mumbled something under his breath.

"I'll… take that as a yes. Kurt, you need to get your facts straight."

Kurt made a gesture to speak, but Blaine swiftly cut him off.

"What you said was correct, that the US has a system in which two-thirds of prisoners reoffend. What you neglected to mention is that this system is based on retribution. A poor return, given that we spend billions on it per year."

Kurt opened his mouth again, but Blaine just continued.

"Based on what I just said, don't you think it's time for our system to change into one that values rehabilitation? I mean, how much worse must it get before we decide to reform it?"

At that very moment, the timer went off. Kurt was fuming.

* * *

Kurt would like to think that he redeemed himself in the later stages of the debate, but he didn't. Though he made a valiant effort, the cross-examination in which Blaine thoroughly debauched his points was too much to overcome. Kurt was hardly surprised when the judge declared Blaine the winner. It hurt, but the decision was fair. If only Kurt could look at Blaine in the eyes after…

Blaine, of course, had no such trouble.

"Kurt… Kurt! Wait up!"

Kurt turned, and saw Blaine sprinting up to him in the middle of the corridor. He skidded to a halt.

"Hey… good round."

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Good for you, you mean."

Blaine looked startled for a split second, then laughed delightedly.

"I promise you, I'm not just saying that. You were great up there."

Kurt squinted at him. Blaine _seemed _sincere enough, but anyone would look sincere with those big, gorgeous eyes and that warm, effusive smile.

"Thanks, but you were a lot better." Kurt couldn't help but return the smile. It was contagious.

Blaine looked down bashfully. It was almost like he was embarrassed by the compliment. Kurt couldn't help but notice the way his dark eyelashes fanned out on his cheeks. "Thanks, Kurt. For a minute there during cross-ex, I thought you were mad at me."

Kurt laughed. "Not going to lie—I was pretty mad when you kept interrupting. But it's legal in a round, so…"

"Good."

They both stared at each other, smiling, before Blaine cleared his throat. "So… listen. If you're free this week, then maybe…"

Unfortunately, Kurt didn't get to hear what Blaine had to say before Tina Cohen-Chang was hurdling toward them at the speed of a bullet.

"Kurt! KURT! I did it! I beat that smug guy's ass to the ground! Ugh, all those Warblers are so…" She trailed off when she noticed Blaine. "Who's your friend?"

"This is my opponent Blaine. Blaine, Tina. Tina, Blaine."

"Nice to meet you Blaine." Tina batted her eyelashes. Kurt resisted the urge to shove his face into his hands and groan.

"Likewise. So… Kurt. I'm going to have to meet up with my teammates, but maybe I'll see you later? I hear that the Warblers and the New Directions are going out to dinner after this. You know, in the spirit of friendly camaraderie and all that." Blaine grinned. Kurt felt his knees give way.

"Sure," Kurt said breathlessly. It suddenly felt like there was no air left in the hallway. "I'll see you there, I guess."

"See you, Kurt." Blaine's smile, if possible, grew larger and even more impossibly compelling. "Oh, and you too, Tina."

Blaine then turned and walked away. In tandem, Kurt and Tina both turned and watched. Once Blaine was out of earshot, Tina sighed appreciably. "Now that is one ass I would like to tap."

"Tina!"

"What? Even you can't deny that his ass is delicious and baked to perfection by a master's chef."

Kurt huffed, but didn't make a move to deny it. Why deny the truth, after all?


End file.
